Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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