Ketchup is God's man juice
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
