I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
