Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize