look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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