Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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