So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
