you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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