Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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