Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
