My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
