is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
