I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
