This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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