God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The police scanner is talking about you again....
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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