Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
