I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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