HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
