Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
