She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize