is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
