I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
