Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
