Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
