You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
