i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I need to align my fucking chakras
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