I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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