I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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