fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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