I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
