I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
