erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
