And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize