i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
