sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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