oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
