Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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