we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize