so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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