Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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