Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
