i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
