I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
