He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
