I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
