I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
