Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
