I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
