So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
