This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
