That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
