There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
