Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
