Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
