I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
