if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
