Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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