So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
