Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
