if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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