So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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