When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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